Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Pond Scum

We visited my dad this weekend. Ozzy Jr and I were in the front yard admiring his koi fish pond. Ozzy pointed out that the boy urinating fountain wasn't flowing properly. I was fooling around with the pump system on the bottom of the pond to try to figure it out when my old man came out to check out the situation. Bobarino, as I like to call him sometimes, was definitely embarrassed that the urinating boy had what may have been performance anxiety. He bends over to show me how the network of pvc was hooked up to the pump, his phone fell out of his top shirt pocked into the water.
He wasn’t upset, he jumped in the pond pulled the bucket out that contained the pump and started looking for the phone on the bottom of the murky water. After about 5 minutes of him looking I got into my swim suit and jumped in. The water was quite cold. After a few minutes, I commented that I was starting to get used to it. Dad’s comment was, “wait until it hits your nads.” Finally, I asked, “hey, did you look in that bucket?” “I checked the bucket, numb nuts”, was his loving reply. He humored me and looked in the bucket and there it is. The phone.
So, we took a photo. Dad took the battery and sim card out, put the phone in a bowl of white rice. The next morning, the phone was fine.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Bird of A Different Color

The Titans are in trouble again this week for a hand jesture the defensive coordinator Chuck Cecil chose to use after a questionable call by the referees. Last year the 80 something year old owner of the Titans, Bud Adams, gave the owner of the Buffalo Bills a double dose of the same jesture. They were both scolded and fined by the NFL.

I don't make a habit of shooting the bird. However, my Granpa Bob was a master of the single finger salute. I remember him using it after he was ushered into the second row of my sister's wedding. To all of the guests. Granpa Bob shot the bird at doctors, nurses, lawyers, policemen, clergy, people wanting to take his photo, it really didn't matter. But he had such a way with the bird, you really didn't take it as an insult, it was more like a compliment. "How was your day honey?" "It sucked, then Bob Nelson shot me the bird, then all was well."

A few years ago, I went to Ozzfest. On the second stage was Slipknot, Hatebread and Lamb of God. After each song, the fans would shoot birds at the 'artists.' That is how they deomonstrated that they were enjoying the show. The bands loved it and returned the birds.
Granpa Bob would be proud.