The Real Answers

There are several questions that many people ask me almost daily, and I'd like to answer them here and now so that we can intelligently discuss beer, tattoos, women, giving back to the community, or something that interests you. Warning: These are the smart ass answers, but truthful nonetheless.



1) Do you see everything blue through those glasses?
No, they are prescription and without them everything is blurry.


2) How much did that tattoo cost?
A lot less than your Lexus and it will last longer.


3) How can you give blood when you were just tattooed?
If you weren't tattooed in prison, under a bridge, or on a bar stool (you know who you are) you can give blood if you were just tattooed.


4) How much do you get paid for your platelets?
The Red Cross doesn't pay for any blood product. I give because there are very sick people that need something that I can give them.


5) Is that moustache for some kind of contest?
No, I just enjoy spending time twisting it. You should grow one yourself. If you are physically unable, I may let you twist mine.


6) How does your wife like the beard?
She hates it. She hates the moustache as well. Thanks for asking.


7) What kind of beer do you make?
Beer that chicks will enjoy drinking.


8) You work in audit, does that mean you a numbers guy?
I like the numbers on my pay check. If they were higher, I would like them more.

Beer Making

A wise man once said, ""Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working." I have to agree. I made my first batch of beer ten or so years ago, then quit because the bottling was too much of a hassle and I didn't have a partner to enjoy the process with. Then, I met Shularbrau. He told me the secret of carefree brewing is to keg your beer instead of bottling. I felt as if I were a college student who was forbidden from taking her car to school and her parents suddenly changed their minds. Free of bottle washing, rinsing, filling, capping and washing again.
I made my first batch - alone. The beer was good, and Pam loved it, but I needed to share the brewing experience with someone equally as enthusiastic. Then, Scott and Katherine came along. Scott is easy to get along with, is all about beer making, and not only that, he has nice boobies (that was a joke).
We have made more than a few batches and have committed a few very serious errors. But we have come through with something we are proud of.
Our goal is to make relatively inexpensive, easy to drink beer that tastes good. We use the same basic formula each time, but we change the variety of hops and yeast to make each batch taste unique. We have written detailed recipes a couple of times and each time it came out tasting like crap, so we quit doing that.
Our basic formula is as follows this batch cost in the $50 range and makes 5 gallons (2 cases):

1. Get the yeast going with about 2 cups of lukewarm water and 3 tbs light malt or honey. Cover it.
2. Boil 3.5 gallons of water - we boil outside on a propane turkey fryer
3. Add 3lbs Dry Amber Malt, 1 lb Dry Light Malt and 2lbs Honey
4. Wait till it boils again and don't let it boil over (that is a mayday)
5. When it begins boiling, add .5 oz of boiling hops (hops with alpha acid > 6%)
6. Look at the time and continue to boil
7. Wait 30 minutes continue to boil
8. Add a dash of Irish Moss to help clear the brew
9. Wait 10 more minutes continue to boil without boiling over
10. Add one oz finishing hops (hops with alpha acid <>
11. Wait 5 more minutes and continue to boil
12. Take wort (not yet beer) off heat and put it in a big sink full of ice water to quickly cool.
13. Add a 2 gallons of cold water to the pot of wort
14. Wait until wort is 80 degrees F and rack (siphen) to a sanitized 7.5 gallon bucket.
15. Pitch (add) the yeast
16. Cover the wort with lid and top with an airlock
17. Let it bubble at room temp for 1 week
18. Rack to glass carboy
19. Let it bubble at room temp for 1 week - at this point it shouldn't be bubling much
20. Rack to keg
21. Add 2 cups corn sugar. Put about 10lb co2 pressure on top of keg and ensure that there are no air leaks.
22. The sugar will ferment in the keg and will naturally carbonate the batch
23. Wait 6 days.
24. Refrigerate Keg
25. Wait 1 day
26. Hook up Co2 tank
27. Drink
28. Drink more